To the guy upstairs and to the guy inside .....

Do you think its funny , dude ? You find it amusing , eh ? I just wanted to know . I know that you are up there , watching over me all the time . You are inside me too , listening to me all the time . Really , dude! What the fuck is wrong with you ? You're never quite done with me , are you ? Every time you HAVE to pull me right back in .

Its only because I never quite understand you . And I had to ask.

10 Days that I didn't touch her

It had been 10 days .... I couldnt believe myself. For 10 days I hadn't even spared a thought about her . Never thought it was possible . Well , all the things a nice trip can do to a guy ! Back from the trip , one look at her and I knew she wasn't herself . Something was wrong . I was really tired that evening . Didnt even stop to talk to her , had my supper and hit the bed straight.

Next morning , I was running really late (as usual) . No time for chit-chat . Any more delay and I would lose the attendance for the first hour (as if that were something new :) ) .
I tell her, "Come honey, we're late. Let's go" .
She replies with a cold stare as if to say , " Who's your honey, weirdo ? "
"Dont do this to me , baby...not now..."
"Hmmmpphh! Keep your hands off me, you moron! "

Really dont know how long the stand-off lasted and how i pleaded with her. More than the soothing words and the sweet promises i murmured to her , the sad desperate look on my face did the trick. Sensible girl, she is ! :)

Back to college and our usual routine . We go to college together everyday . On sunday we went on a little trip of our own - just the two of us . And its happily-ever-after ......so far till now. ;)


Plain speak : I had been on a college trip for 10 days in October . It was raining cats and dogs in Trivandrum , meantime. When I came back , Uni's engine had gone cold . Next morning , as usual I start from home at 9.00 a.m and the bike wont start no matter what. Gave choke and atleast 20 kicks on the starter to warm her up . It was a cold day and the engine sounded funny all day .In weekend did some minor service , took her to the fuel station and went for a scorching ride in the highway. She's back to her smooth self .

21 Movies young adults must watch : Part 2

Part 1 Goes here

Part 2 : A Beautiful Mind (2001)

Ron Howard / Akiva Goldsman


Wiki : A Beautiful Mind

1.

Each man does what is best for himself and his group.

Applicable in governing dynamics and game theory. Also applicable elsewhere.

2. Believe in numbers, they'll teach you everything, except life.

3. John Nash :

True explanation of life lies in the mysterious equations of love.

4. It is difficult to reason yourself out of a problem, when the problem is with your mind in the first place . Difficult , but not quite impossible.

5.

True love is your reason, it is all your reasons.

6.Everyday is a new day, never quit trying. Never!

7. True appreciation of life starts with the simpler things...the really simpler things like Star gazing.

8. For any given problem , in life or integral calculus there are different ways to achieve solution.

9. What is real or unreal is not as important as what you believe. For starters - truly believe in oneself and love.

21 Movies young adults must watch : Part 1

A movie is just another way of story-telling. I am listing these 21 movies here because they have all taught me something . Some tell lessons on life , some philosophize and some just make one think . You may have seen many of them and learned different lessons for yourselves . And for the uninitiated, I assure , they are all very worth watching ...

Part 1:
Godfather (1972) and
Godfather Part II (1974)

Mario Puzo / Francis Ford Coppola




Wiki : Godfather Godfather Part II

1)

Vito Corleone : Each man has but one destiny

2) Priorities in Life (in order)
a. Absolute uncompromising love for the family.
b. Loyalty and friendship
c. Principles , Truth
d. Anything that we truly desire as destiny - career, wealth, power etc

3) All institutions (the well organised ones, that is ) need buffers . Ideally atleast 3 levels of them.

4) Never utter a word of threat - it is a foolish and compromising display of anger and hate. Do it, dont say it .

5)

Haygen : " Its not personal, its business"
Michael : " Dont let them kid you Tom. Its all personal , every bit of business , everywhere "

6) Sincerity and honesty in actions mark true greatness of a man.

7) Never display your true emotions to a foe . Smile is the best weapon . Both Michael and Vito are famous for chilling smiles - smiles that you fear.

8) Do not fear death. Life is inexplicably beautiful and indeterminably short to worry about death. If you can die saying , " Life is beautiful !" , what more would you want ?

9) Show death some respect ! Do not philosophize on it .

10) Something in life are better left unsaid.

If you know'em , just go ahead and do . Dont wait to say.

11) What goes around, comes around.

12)

Keep your friends close , but your enemies closer

Riding with the wind : Part 2

Part 1 is here .

Please note : The author does not encourage or endorse breaking the speed limit restrictions in your city. Use your head while driving . Drive within your own limits and that of your machine . If you fall from your bike , there's always a chance that you may never get up again.


Picture Courtesy : www.aroundthecorner.org.uk

100 kmph and above

I had said in my earlier post that speeding isnt my forte' . I love cruising . Clear skies , a gentle breeze and the highway : the biker loves these . Cruising along , feeling the nature ; the gentle hum of the machine - he loves that sound .

Like everyone else , the biker likes a change once in a while , so does the machine . So , out we go, on a bright sunny day : first stop is the petrol pump . Both are excited ; but it isn't evident in our subdued expressions . We are just waiting for the open road . Refueled and tire pressures checked. Okay and we are off!

Next stop , the highway . The machine knows we are on open road now and hums expectedly . We cruise along and leave other vehicles behind. A slight release of the throttle to get the rhythm ready. And now the time to leave the rest of the world far behind !

We start accelerating 30,40,50, 60. The wind is picking up now . The higher gears have lesser acceleration .... so full throttle needed now . Its turbo mode .... 70,80,90... things are getting real fast now . The wind is sharper . It blows on the face real hard and starts howling .A bit more acceleration.. 100 kmph . Now we get the real sense of speed . Cutting through the air , it starts screaming ... yah...for real (its goes wwwooooooo!!!!) .

Above 100 kmph , the scenery starts blurring out . The scenes on both sides fly past - ....its an eery feeling , the feeling associated with every thrill . The engine is roaring now. Strange music it sounds ....the gentle hum of the engine replaced by a furious roar , the once feeble breeze is now scowling all around us . Soon the machine starts slightly shivering ...she's reaching the top speed..cant take no more . When it starts vibrating ; its an indicator ..time to cool off buddy ! Let go off the accelerator gradually and she smoothly swings back to the rhythm . Both of us were on a high...and we are both immensely satisfied.

After 110 kmph , its incredible how much slower 60 kmph feels..... :D

I , Me , Myself

Are all bloggers egotistic as I am ? My average blog will feature around 25 instances of the word "I" . Are we all self-centered morons who never get tired of talking of our stupid little lives ? Is it a parallel from our new way of life, where "I" is the most important , there aint anything remotely close to being more important. We live to satisfy our egos.


We have lost our power of patience ( yes! it is a power. People who go about saying patience is a virtue should know better) . At the faintest effort of a criticism or judgement we get impatient. We take offense. We dont have the time to think about others and even if we do, we dont care.

We live in a tiny world , greatest and largest human constructions are barely visible from the moon. Yet! such creative beings we are. We are such brilliant architects - we build gigantic mountains out of molehills. We indeed live in a small world of large men.

I am the one who matters.....I am the supreme being . My belief is the truth . The greatest problems in this world are the struggles of my ego . And others......bah! what others ? I dont give a damn !

Life in the Square One

Some people resign to their fate with a mention of the Square One. “Back to Square one”. It’s a special place to most people. Everyday, every moment a new lease of life starts there. When I was young, I was taught of a place called ‘Hope’. Nobody’s ever sad at ‘Hope’, but everyone is content and happy. It is a place that holds much promise. When I grew up, I knew what that place is. It is Square One. And it was told it was no place – nobody ever stayed there. It was the departure point for every new journey – journeys into the unknown and unchartered – or known and chartered.

But again, they were wrong. There are people for whom the journey starts and ends at square one. There are people who stay forever at Square One. There isn’t any other world for them. How do I know? For, ladies and gentlemen, I am one among them.

For the longest time, I was aware and perplexed at this paradox. Being born into the family of high achievers didn’t help either. My entire life so far can be easily summed up as a chase after some rather high expectations. But it isn’t my life that is the subject of this prose, so we’ll continue about square one.

Everyday morning, the average square-one dweller, gets up rise and shine; “ Today’s gonna be THE day, I am gonna rock today – there are mountains to move, oceans to cross, but what the heck? I am gonna kick ass anyway “. Ladies and gentlemen, a relapse to “Whatever! Life sucks!” aint an hour away for us. For all the determination, all the planning, all the will power we summon from heaven and hell, the final step is forever a mirage.

A pessimist is a sinner; a square-one dweller is a hopelessly lost soul. May God forgive us!

What is Happy ?

I had a fascination for the word ‘Why’. When I was younger I used to begin a significant part of my conversation with that word. Over the years, I’ve lost the habit of fascination. For any word or anything.

I am incapable of spiritual thought/ mental dissection required to define “Happiness”. When was the last time I was happy? Can I remember that? Allow me a moment, please.

In a sea of sorrow, happy moments are tiny islands far apart. So they should be easy to spot. Then why can’t I remember a moment when I was really happy? There are moments I feign happy. I do it for myself, I do it for my parents, I do it for those I love, I do it for those whom I want to love me, I do it for those I don’t care a damn fuck about! But, God! Why can’t I remember a single moment of real happiness? Is there real happiness at all? Are we all destined to be happy forever for each other’s sake? I’ve read (Yeah! I do read a LOT of nonsensical shit) that life becomes meaningful only when we stop living for ourselves and live it for others. Come on, now. Is there even a semblance of truth in that?

I’ve got to go way back here. When I was so tall….then I was happy! Oh! Cruel , cruel time! Why did you have to move along? Why not let me stay forever a child? My little cocoon that I was happy in. Lost forever!

When Pa used to come home after work and spend the evenings dandling me and letting the little me dance on his knees and Ma would be smiling and preparing me hot milk and chocolate drink. The little me blissfully unaware of the eight preceding hours that Pa was bending his back over routine, boring office work to earn enough for his little bundle of joy . Those were the days….when the greatest discomfort was when my milk was too hot, the greatest perplexity of life was the night sky and the million stars , the greatest surprise in life was what delicacy pa would be buying for me in the evening , greatest fun was the monsoon rain and the paper boats and the splashing , great sadness was when playtime ends and greatest pleasure was when I used to genuinely ask “Why?” .

Since then, time has moved on and life’s been a bitch.

I've been Tagged !

I’ve been tagged by fellow blogger Abhi . And bloggers reply in kind…and without much further ado, here I go.

1.Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it:

This scar is in the direct line of sight in front of me as I fumble over my keyboard (No touch typist here :( ). On my left forearm – a patch about the size of a visiting card and looking like charred skin is THE Scar. Quite unassuming as far as personalities of scars go.

I am a scourge of the road. This scar is my reminder of one of my earlier misadventures. A fateful evening; 8.30 p.m I am returning from Nedumangad via Peroorkada. Exact location I don’t remember, but it is nearer to one of the s-curves en route Vattapaara. I was rather proud of my 3-month-old Honda. From my faint recollection (we don’t remember the details of our failures, do we?) I overtook a KSRTC bus at the start of the s-curve at about 60 kmph , went into the lower part of the s-curve without cutting the speed. To negotiate the turn, I slightly tilted the bike and feeling confident because no vehicle came in opposite direction, I still didn’t cut the speed (Silly ASS!). I went on dipping the angle and the bike was at an angle of 60 degrees from the road. Then ……it all happened in about 50 milliseconds. The rear tire unable to take the pressure, gave way. The vehicle swerved badly – I hit the front brakes – the bike stalled and it started skidding along the road. All I remember are the initial thud and the fury of the roaring engine. Then I was getting dragged along the gravel along some 10-15 meters. I was in no position to get up by myself and it was a very dark area (No street lights). A few very kind bystanders / locals helped me up but for some reason I refused to let go of my bike and then they forced me to do so. :) My arm was shaking badly and I knew this was really bad ….I had injured myself. My thought was to get home…somehow!

The KSRTC bus passed me by a few seconds later when the bike and myself had been moved from the middle of the road, with all the passengers looking on at this pandemonium. You will never learn how earnestly I loved God that moment….a difference of a few seconds and Google would have been spared of these many bytes. ;)

There were many comments from onlookers like “ Njyangalkku ith thanne pani – ennum kure ennam ivide veezhum …(This is a major trouble for us – there are daily accidents here) “. One comment stands out in my memory – an elderly man gave this gem – “ Speed theere kurangyu poyi…athaanu veenathu (the speed was too low, that’s why you fell “. Inspite of feeling sure that my arm was in flames I smiled. In about two minutes I was up again, I took my bike, started it (it started in one kick) and started for home. I stopped at the next street light and raised my sleeve or what was left of it…it made me sick. It was swollen; there was no skin and blood dripping down the sleeve and the shirt. Looking back now, I seriously wonder how I drove about 12 kilometers till home with that arm. And that is the story of my scar.

Since then the two of us have done 5000 kilometers together without event, clocked a top speed of 110 kmph and been happily biking ever after.

2.What does your phone look like?

Hmm…interesting question. My current phone is a Nokia 2100 and it looks like something the cat has brought in ….. ( I know its rather unfair of me to tell that of a phone that my served my father well for 3 years….but its God’s fault – giving me a rather nasty aesthetic sense and a MotoRazr v3i which I used for 3 months)

3.What is on the walls of your bedroom?

A calendar, a poster of a very nice painting of child lord Krishna, a mirror, a coat hanger. Hmmm…I guess I’ll never earn my ration rice as an Interior designer :)

4.What is your current desktop picture?

My first system has a blank desktop, no wallpaper (A P-II system tweaked for speed)

My Second system has Harley Davidson Cruiser Wallpaper (Someday I want to buy a cruiser and one of these days I will…)

5. Do you believe in gay marriage?

No, I don’t. Gays are people who think, feel and act differently and they yearn to be free from social hassles. So why force an institution like marriage on them? If gay people want to live together, let them be.

6.What do you want more than anything right now?

Ho….difficult question . I have 7 backpapers (doing Btech Degree major in Electronics). I want to clear all of them and get my bachelor’s degree in first class.

7. What time were you born?

A Friday morning, long long time ago. And as some of my friends mention, God must have winked for a moment. :)

8.Are your parents still together?

Yes. And they are a great inspiration to me – the way they have together tolerated ME for all these years. Incredible!

9.Last person who made you cry?

It was about 1 year ago when I was in Chennai I had seen a really old man (at least 75-80 years) working as a waiter in a restaurant outside my workplace. I sat there sipping my tea and looking at him slowly going along his work. It was a very sad moment. I didn’t cry, but felt like I am empty inside. I never went to that restaurant again. :(

10. What is your favourite perfume / cologne?

All fragrances of Axe. I choose a different one each time I buy . Current choice – Click.

11.What kinds of hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex?

I like girls with long or slightly curly, black hair (I don’t approve other colours).

I’ve had fascination for people with green-colour-eyes. But there’s something mysterious about those eyes that I am not comfortable with. So I guess I would approve black/ brown eye colour.

12.What are you listening to?

Enya – Braveheart Theme.

13.Do you get scared of the dark?

No. When I was young I used to be scared of being alone. I’ve learnt to appreciate solitude since then.

14.Do you like painkillers?

No. And I don’t like pain as well.

15.Are you too shy to ask someone out?

I am not now. (Perhaps because I don’t have anyone to do that now). I once had, and I was shy. In those circumstances she would have refused anyway. :(

16.If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

I don’t want anything to eat right now. But I would really appreciate some pure fruit juice now. On afterthought, some tapioca chips wouldn’t be a rather bad idea either.

17.Who was the last person that made you mad?

A classmate of mine. For believing that closing your eyes creates darkness and rather stubbornly insisting that all the rest of us believe the same.

18.Who was the last person who made you smile?

A friend of mine who in her own naïve way got me philosophizing again during conversation.

I tag Akhil Sasidharan , Lekshmi C ,Don and Freebird.

The Solitary Cyclist

The title is a nod to Sir. Arthur Conan Doyle - Solitary Cyclist is one among his sherlockian works. I am a fan.

I am a cyclist first and a biker next. I really love cycling - so much so that once I've even done a 14 km stretch inside the city! Then why , you may be inclined to ask , do we not see you more often riding your first love ? Well! The college starts 9.00 am ; by 8.45 am I am barely up from my bed and searching for my toothbrush - ergo, I may be excused.

Still, given the leisure of time and good weather - there's nothing like a gentle bicycle ride down the city by-lanes . Its a bit risky to try this sport on the busy city streets - so keep to less busier streets and the by-lanes.

Why? Why? When the entire world is crazed about getting as fast as they can get - Why cycling ? It has got to do with the lifestyles we have made for ourselves. I get tired of the rat-race too often. I need my time out. In my bicycle , slowly going along - watching as the world hurries ahead. I'll tell you how it feels like - watching an entire movie in slow motion. A bike ride can never give me that. I get to see old couples holding hands to cross the roads, little kids on the way to school - sulking and dragging along their busy parents , everyone busy and hurrying along and time's almost stopped for me - man , its almost surreal!

And I am solitary - there isn't anyone cycling to work /college nowadays. Even school kids - I never see them on bicycles on my way. Everyone should try it out sometime - Just slow your world down - enjoy the ride . There are simpler pleasures that always bring more joy.

The bike ride is "Riding with the wind" . Cycling is "surfing the breeze" . :-)

And by the way, did I mention it is healthy ?

Riding with the wind

Biker Profile :

Riding Style : Usually controlled and smooth , goes into rash mode when challenged. In Police registers once. Enjoys drag races.

Rides Owned : Bajaj KB100, Honda Unicorn (Current)

Top Speed : 110 km/hr

Accidents : 4

Preferred destination : Beach, Secluded Scenic drives, Highways

Preferred routes in Tvpm: Museum -Kawdiar , The Kazhakuttom Bypass Highway , Pattom- Kesavadas puram , the beach road.

Preferred Riding Mode : Cruising

Why I love biking ? I cant explain . I've done around 3500 kms riding within Tvpm , alone . But I cant get enough of riding again . There may be multitude of reasons.

Speed thrills almost everyone , but not me. I would rather prefer cruising along the highway, minding my own business. For a biker , the ride is a high - its a personal thing , unlike the car ride. The biker feels the wind , the engine underneath him , the gentle machine hum and the heart beat, he feels the road , the scenery flies past him - he rides with the wind . A ride is a beautiful thing . It feels like music or a painting.

To be continued......

Being a Boy

Guess, this is all I can say...there's always some part of me and you that never wants to grow up. The part which by every moment that we breathe , exhilarate us with the sense of living . The grandeur of life , memories - sweet and sour . Every man is a boy inside. We all have our fantasies, our trepidations, our private spaces in our heads - that we cannot live without . Guess, that is all we can talk about - the part of us that keeps us alive.... i"ll talk about Being a Boy.